There’s not a man on the planet that doesn’t want to be more confident in some area of life.
Whether it’s in your marriage, your work, or your everyday decisions.
Successful men know that to be more confident, in every aspect of their lives, is the only way to enjoy a life filled with wealth, love, and respect.
That’s what we all want, right?
Other men know they need more, and wish like hell they had it.
But for them, to get more confidence requires, well, more confidence. And so they stay exactly where they are in life. Stuck in their own self made prison.
Today you’re going to learn how to break free from this prison.
In this video you’ll learn what it really takes to gain the confidence you need to become the man your wife wants and needs you to be.
Let’s get started…
Let’s look at Devin’s story
Devin was a timid, low-key guy.
Growing up he was verbally abused by his mother. He had very few friends, none that he trusted completely, and he was the kid that everyone picked on throughout middle and high school.
He grew up fearing how others valued him.
Even though his mother was the cause of much of his pain, he married Jennifer, a woman just like her. Jennifer was strong willed, aggressive, and impatient.
Devin was terrified of confrontation. He hated it.
He had formed the belief that having a different opinion meant he was wrong in some way. And being wrong usually ended painfully.
His fear of confrontation kept him from standing up to Jennifer or anyone else. Devin was convinced that it didn’t do any good because he was going to lose anyway.
He thought his life would be easier by keeping quiet and agreeing with everything even if he didn’t agree at all.
Devin also believed he wasn’t truly loved completely by anyone or deserved to be. The more he tried to comply with the world around him the more he felt small and alone.
Then one day something happened…
“I was sitting in traffic. I remember noticing how hard I was gripping the wheel. My jaw so tight I thought my teeth were going to crack. My shoulders hurt, and my stomach felt like I had just done 100 crunches or something.”
I remember feeling the anger running through me, and being confused. I didn’t know why I was so mad. It wasn’t like a ‘somebody just cut me off’ mad either. It was a ‘I want to bash somebody in the face with a metal chair over and over’ mad. It scared me, but it felt good too. That scared me even more.
As I thought about it more, I realized it wasn’t anything new at all. I realized this was how I felt everyday and didn’t even now it. I wish I could say that was an enlightened moment, but all it really did was show me how much I hated my life. It made my anger worse, and I began to take it out on others. But I still couldn’t stand up for myself. I knew I had to do something, but I didn’t have a clue what. I was angry, scared, and embarrassed.”
Devin’s hidden disappointment in himself from his lifetime of backing down, avoiding confrontation, and burying his opinions had slowly turned to resentment and anger. First towards himself, then his family and others.
He was going down fast, but Devin is one of the fortunate ones…
A coworker had added Devin’s name, along with many others, to an email newsletter list for a mens group he was in (which is really bad marketing practice, but we’ll talk about that another day).
“I was like WTF Tom! Thanks for the spam. But I read it anyway just because I worked with him. I was really just nosey about what the guy was into. I can’t even remember what it said, but I remember being scared and comforted at the same time. There were other men dealing with the same shitty life I was. I was determined to go, but it still took me a few weeks to do it. Thank God I did.”
It took Devin a few months to feel comfortable, and trust the group completely. It’s one thing to listen and relate to the problems of others. It’s another thing entirely to share your own.
Devin told me he later realized that ability to trust the group (or anyone) is what he needed most. That was his first pivotal moment.
“I wish I could think of a different way to describe it, but it felt like I was loved for me. I know that’s not exactly the manly thing to say, but it’s how it felt.”
That was three years ago.
Is Devin’s life perfect now? Of course not. Who’s life is?
He still struggles with doubt. He can still hear his mother’s words echoing in the back of his mind, and he ended up filing for divorce from Jennifer…
But he’s never been happier. He’s in control of his life now, and found a woman who loves him for what he has to offer her and the world.
He told me the decision to divorce was hard, but it’s what they both wanted.
Devin had shed his fear of standing up for himself and Jennifer wasn’t willing to except that. “She wasn’t willing to deal with her control issues, and I wasn’t willing to be a puppet anymore”, he said.
Devin is one of the fortunate ones because he was able to find help. More than that, he was willing to open up and receive the help when it was there. As hard as it was, he stuck it out.
How about you?
Are you getting the support you need?
If you’re not, it’s time you made that your number one priority. Your marriage might depend on it.
